Saturday, July 23, 2005

Bwakinanginang SuperStar

I find nothing more self-indulgent and highblood-inducing than many of these lifestyle columns we find in weekend editions of local, leading newspapers.

Gimme a friggin' break: I don't want to hear how young you were in the '80s and how you hate Corey Hart and Menudo and all that shit. Or how you got to ride a taxi and spent quality time with manong driver who gave you wondrous epiphanies on the vehicularly-challenging life out there. Or to read a list of your new book acquisitions and favorite records. Or just to constantly see your boyprens and gelprens namedropped.

PUTA NAMAN! Hindi Blog ang espasyo n'yo sa dyaryo!!!

Secondly, being a responsible columnist is not even simply a matter of subject matter, but also of tone. If you can't transcend your diary-entry, angst-ridden tones, you've no business writing columns.

I guess my main point here is the growing lack (oxymoron intended) of responsible journalism in these so-called columns. Most of these writers don't really write insightful pieces; they just use the precious space to rant and rave and poke readers with novelty shit, trivia, and nonsense.

Di ganyan ang GONZO!!! Magsulat na lang kayo ng brochure kung trip n'yo mag FYI sa mambabasa n'yo!

Instead of troubling us with lame excuses for and masturbatory exercises on creative non-fiction, these people should keep their crappy ramblings to the confines of their blogs.

Write about what you really know or can fully imagine. mehn.

And don't mess around with ma' '80s music. (Yeah, yeah--I'm having a classic thirtysomething fit. Hehe.)

Erwin Romulo is, I think, the only authentic essayist among these columnists. The guy's works are not necessarily (and I think not intended to be) Gonzo, but balanced, witty, and literary in a lot of instances.

As for the others, just write your angst in your friggin' blogs. If you've nothing really important to say, don't bombard readers with useless trivia they can read or find in a website, anyway. And por pabor, nada of those whacked sentiments as to how the world owes you some shit for being depressed and other emotional shit.

Magbasa na lang kayo ng Ating Alamid!

Malapit na!!!